| blank.
empty.
vacant.
those are the words that describe my heart.
i can't feel like i used to but i try and i try
and nothing seems to happen.
heartless.
|
| |
| I've been asking myself over and over again, why do people lie, cheat, steal, etc.?
Why does everyone have to lie through their teeth to me?
Why can't everyone be real to me?
And then it dawned on me today why people do it.
It's not because they do it on purpose, it's because they are in the pursuit for something.
That something is what we call happiness.
To find happiness you must lie, cheat, steal, and just do whatever it takes to get it but when you
do.....don't turn back and fix a thing because if you do, you'll lose it all.
Yeah, it sounds really awful but in all actuality it is all so true.
So why can't I do what these people do to me?
Oh yeah, it's because I have a conscious and it tends to fight those urges others can't.
I'm not saying that I'm perfect and I don't do it sometimes but....
I'm different.
Takes this however you want to but that's how I feel right now.
I don't want to be all old in my motor scooter chasing happiness around, I just want it to
be next to me racing motor scooters with me.
|
| |
| (sigh)
I'm just lost in this big world.
Alone.
Afraid.
I just want to be loved.
I just want to fall in love.
|
| |
| work sucks but i like money.
k, bye.
|
| |
| life is good but some things make it not. tickets suck a lot, i'll probably lose my license soon but who knows i'll try to stall if i have to. i'm only 18 years old and i have 14 points on my license what the hell?!?! oh well, i guess i have to deal with it. it's what happens when you grow up, right? you pay insurance to drive your car, maintenance for you car, gas for you car, food for body, clothes for you body....yeah, it all sucks. my car doesn't work so it sucks to borrow my dad's car so i'm trying to make some money to get this shit fixed. i'm about over it and just get another car and just take my time fixing it so i don't know. my job sucks right now, i'm really scared that i might get seriously hurt at my job and the pay there isn't that great. i'm in the process of looking for another job so hopefully that works out. on the bright side i have an amazing girlfriend and she makes me happy and i make her happy, she means a lot to me and i hope we stay together for a long time. i haven't written in this in ages so yeah, that's a good start to just put my thoughts down somewhere. have a good night everyone, peace out. |
| |
